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<title>Lost At Sea (The Magic of 3 AM Baths) by Ludusrae</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24135730">Lost At Sea (The Magic of 3 AM Baths)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ludusrae/pseuds/Ludusrae'>Ludusrae</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Image, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I suck at tags, Inner Dialogue, Kinda?, Ocean references, One Shot, Other, Poetic, RIP, References to Depression, References to anxiety, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, Short One Shot, Swearing, The Author Regrets Nothing, anxious character, based on real life, baths, but i didn't?, fluff?, i meant to make it slow and dramatic, idk if it counts as comfort but imma tag it anyways, im sorry, it's kinda fast paced so, it's not, it's supposed to be slow paced, lots of metaphors, main character tries their best, self-comforting, short and sweet, soft, this is some deep shit, vent fic, word vomit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:27:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>531</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24135730</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ludusrae/pseuds/Ludusrae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's really just the magic baths have in making you feel just a little bit better. Simple and warm.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lost At Sea (The Magic of 3 AM Baths)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is really just me projecting and I purposefully didn't add any names or gender-specific words so that when people read this they can relate as close as they want. It's meant to be a comforter, I guess? I don't know, I just wrote this to make myself feel better.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Warm. Warm. Hot. </p><p>The water was hot, uncomfortably so. Perfect. </p><p>The lights were off, a candle sat on the far end of the tub next to the faucet, barely glowing even though I’d just lit it. Music played through my speaker, just loud enough to hear over the running water. </p><p>My body felt heavy. Heavy and hollow.</p><p>I brushed over my teeth with my tongue and ran a hand through my hair, it was starting to get hard to breathe. I turned the knob for the cold water. I pulled off my shirt and stared at my reflection. Everything, from my hairline to my toes, all of it, it made me want to throw up. I felt sick in my own skin, everything looked wrong and unappealing. I itched my wrist. </p><p>Hozier was playing. I flicked off the lights and stepped into the bath, hot and comforting. A can of mango tea sat on the side next to my phone, the room was shrouded in dark. The candle was kicking in and it smelled like burnt vanilla coffee; bittersweet and downright fucking amazing. 	</p><p>I flattened my hand on the side of the tub, all fingers on the sideline but my thumb, it hung over into the bath. I let the water reach it before I turned it off. My face was sweaty and I could feel the hair on my nack sticking to my skin. I turned up the music and took a deep breath before I dipped under the water. </p><p>My eyes were closed and my hands pressed to the sides of me, keeping my body down to the bottom of the ocean. My hair billowed out and I felt weightless for the first time in weeks. The melody was muffled but I could still feel the bass, the vibration echoed throughout the room, consoling and protective. </p><p>I started thinking. Thinking about this and that, her and him, stories and myths, dreams and reality. I strayed away from the things that weighed me down, those thoughts were for when I was back on dry land, for that moment, I was adrift in the middle of the sea, alone and so completely gratified. </p><p>It was a moment, ten seconds-- ten whole seconds when every drop of sadness and every whisp of anxiety left my body and time stopped. I felt alive, like… really alive. There were no words in my brain, only senses, only feelings. It made no actual sense but it was also the only thing that had ever made sense, like an out-of-body experience. And when that moment passed, I had a darker feeling. I never drowned though, the darker feeling didn’t come with the heaviness of brick, only the soft realisation that I have never felt happy before that point. It was the slow realisation that my happiness comes in sparse but satisfying waves, small waves that wash a beaches sands. </p><p>And it was that moment that I felt nothing short of elegant, errorless, exquisite, ethereal. With my hair sticking to my face when I came up for air, droplets hitting the water and Alex the Astronaut playing over my head, I smiled and I finally meant it.</p>
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